Hillary and Barack: Through the Eyes of a Five-Year Old

On the night of January 8th, my children were fast asleep and I was on my way to bed after a dinner where Hillary and Barack dominated much of the discussion.  The last time I had checked the polls and papers earlier in the day, New Hampshire was likely going to Barack Obama, giving him his second straight victory.  Even the New York Times had speculated a day before that a shake-up would occur in Hillary Clinton's camp, suggesting the dismissal of long-time loyalist's Pati Solis-Doyle and Mandy Grunwald if she lost New Hampshire. 

Though I recognize both candidates are highly qualified, I am still undecided (as many African-American women) and I was feeling a sense of defeat that the first real woman presidential contender was facing such a pivotal loss.  Everyone knew New Hampshire was do or die for Hillary Clinton.  Exhausted from a day of back-to-back meetings, I turned off my bedside lamp sensing momentum was turning against her.   But before closing my eyes, I saw the red light flashing on my Blackberry indicating a new message.  I clicked on the e-mail icon only to see a 'Market-Watch' alert.  I was just about to press delete when I read the subject line:  "Hillary Claims New Hampshire."  

I immediately turned on the television to find out what had changed from the previous day.  As I tuned into CNN, my five-year old daughter, Ella, padded into by room, awakened by a nightmare.  She hopped beside me and buried herself beneath the covers.  I didn't bother to send her out, assuming she'd fall right back to sleep but she tossed and turned until finally, she sat up and asked me, "What are you watching?" 

Somehow, the moment felt too historic to admonish her for being up past her bedtime.   I told her that I was waiting for a presidential candidate to come on stage and speak about his loss that evening.  Ella's questions continued.  President of what?  He lost?  He's not going to be president of the United States now?  I tried to explain that his loss accounted for only one state and that there were several more states to vote before a final winner was determined. 

I did not broach the electoral vote discussion nor did I bring up the Republican's race.  But her questions persisted:  What's his name? When's he coming on television?  What's he going to say? Who beat him?  Why'd they beat him?  It wasn't until Barack and Michelle Obama appeared on television that she quieted.

Admittedly, I had not previously engaged in political discussions with my daughter other than hammering home our household hierarchies so I assumed her interest would be minimal.  Instead she was mesmerized.  I watched her watch Barack.  She smiled, glanced at me, then back at him.  She was responding to him: her body language told the story.  I asked her what she thought of him and she blushed.  I asked her if she thought he was handsome and she waved me off saying she was "trying to listen." 

Like most people, I've heard, read and seen firsthand how charming, charismatic and inspirational Barack Obama can be, but I was now witnessing in real time the primal reaction to him that my daughter was experiencing.   Even a five-year-old was not immune.  I doubt she understood much of what he was talking about, but she identified and connected with him on a basic level.  And the change theme of "out with the old and in with the new" in his speech did resonate as Ella compared that philosophy with throwing out her old toys to make room for her new ones, which promised to be much improved former. 

By the time Stevie Wonder's "Sign, Sealed, Delivered," finished and Mr. and Mrs. Obama left the stage, Ella turned to me and said "He's cute Mommy, why isn't he going to win?"  I informed her that the competition was still going on and that he had a very good chance at being president of the United States, even if I wasn't sure myself. 

My daughter related to Obama from an emotional space as most people do.  Ella too was moved, hopeful and charmed.  Her reaction was not informed by his voting record or his work to abolish poverty or his dignified campaign or impressive fundraising efforts.  It was not wholly unlike what Caroline Kennedy described in her New York Times op-ed piece "A President Like My Father," and Toni Morrison's letter to Barack Obama which touched upon the intangibility and rarity of Barack's wisdom.  We talked a bit more as she was wide awake and engaged by this time waiting for Hillary Clinton to make her appearance, but she was bothered that Barack was not the victor that night.

When Hillary Clinton came on stage my daughter seemed shocked.  "A girl?" she said.  It had not occurred to me that "Hillary" did not register with her as being a woman's name.  She looked confused for a few moments before exclaiming, "A girl" once again.  "How can a girl be a president," she demanded to know, more confused than oppositional.  The notion was offending her sensibility. 

To put into context, my daughter is a brown black girl who attends a private predominantly white Upper East Side school in New York City where a young white boy recently told her she shouldn't be on the baseball team because she was the only girl, but this same boy also told her that her "natural Afro" hair was weird.  Ella may only be five years old but she is acutely aware of being a girl and the perceived limitations of her gender and her ethnicity.  

As Hillary began to speak, I watched my daughter watch her in the same way as when Barack spoke.  I was waiting for some sort of reaction, but the closest I got from her could only be described as skepticism. Finally, she turned to me and asked rather quizzically, "What's she talking about?" And this question came after Hillary went through some serious audience "thank yous" smiling like I had never seen her smile before.  Apparently the humbling effect of the Iowa loss and a near miss in New Hampshire was a reality check that she was in for a real contest. 

I tried to think of the best way to answer my daughter.  I assumed what she was picking up on was the difference in the two candidate's methods of communicating, or perhaps more importantly the very different effects they had on people.  Although not cloaked in charisma, Senator Clinton is razor sharp on policy and her ability to detail specific plans of action while Senator Obama spews poetic hope backed by intelligence and integrity.  Before I had a chance to form my thoughts to give Ella an answer, she turned to me and very matter of factly declared, "Barack's cuter but Hillary's smarter.  She's going to win."   This has become known as ""Ella's prediction in our household."

I have since heard presumably more sophisticated variations of my daughter's "predicition" in many forms.  But one has stuck with me the most:  "Those who want to be inspired will vote for Barack, those who want a president will vote for Hillary." 

PARTING THOUGHTS

Women are torn.  Girls are torn.  Black women and black girls are torn. I'm torn.  A question I've struggled with since my college days; "Am I a woman first or am I black first?"  Or does it matter?  And should it matter when choosing a president?  One can't help but think about their own personal experiences in making judgments on almost every aspect of their lives. I have been the victim of sexism, racism and misogynistic treatment.  I cannot say that they have all equally affected me but each has impacted my world view and how I approach any given situation. 

In contemplating the multiple criticisms that plague Hillary -- being labeled ambitious, bitchy, divisive, pandering, centrist et cetera -- I cannot help but think that many of these same terms would not be used if she were a man.  Remember we're dealing with the first First Lady who had a degree beyond a Bachelor's.  Many opposed her merely because she did not fit the mold of the perfect politician's wife who should be seen and not heard unless she was echoing her husband's sentiment.  But let's face it, likeability and charm in politics, which Barack possesses by the barrel, are valuable currency.  Couple those with the ability to inspire and mobilize a new generation of youth and you almost have an unbeatable combination. 

Electing a president is a personal decision.  If my five-year-old daughter can see the differences in style between Hillary and Barack, it's no surprise the rest of America can see this too.