The OUTside of Relationships

WOW. Thanks for writing this. It's so refreshing to see so many different perspectives on relationships in all these articles. Nice to know we all go through the same things. Thanks for educating people.

Very impressive and inspirational. My first time hearing about these guys. Thank you for the encouragement just by being who you be and doing what you do.

Very good article. I enjoyed reading this and i encourage you to keep using your voices to help those that are misinformed, miseducated, and just missing everything!

http://wisdomteachesme.blogspot.com/

Words of relevance such as these not only provide the insight sorely lacking among the out trying to find their way, but also the pertinent reminder that personal and communal growth is needed & highly beneficial. Your voice is appreciated.

Like I told these fellas on their website. Stick with what you know. Make movies. There is nothing in your background that would qualify you to give practical or clinical advice on anything. You're still learning yourselves. And don't tell me I don't know you. You're public figures (of a sort). Anything I need to know about you I can Google.

You can't really speak on the "gay sexual revolution" when you weren't even born when it took place. And by the way, Gay men of color were not -- and are still not -- a part of any so-called gay revolution, which is why you have organizations like LGBT and GMAAD which does give us a voice and an identity in political and academic matters concerning same sex relations for people of color.

Shouldn't you be working on those last 5 episodes your owe your cable subscribers missing from the 1st season of your tv show?

--Nico

A few months ago, I sent Maya's quote "When people show you who they are BELIEVE THEM..the first time" to a friend on Myspace. She thanked me and told me how much it had helped her in dealing with some difficult people in her life.

And Nico --- Q and D are more than qualified to give practical advice to gay men of color. The are responding to the MANY E-MAILS, MESSAGES, AND COMMENTS they receive everyday on Myspace. Obviously there are many people who feel a connection to these two very talented men. So stop your hatin!

And as for the DL chronicles. I loved the show. Wouldn't mind if you did a sequel to "Boo".

Kim

Would you care to share with the rest of us a list of their so-called qualifications that you claim to be aware of? Also, you claim to love the show, but do you subsribe to the cable network that their program airs on (HereTv)? Or are you one of the ones who watches the free clips on YouTube? Did you buy the DvD? Probably no to all of that. And I bet you couldn't give a list of the so-called qualifications either. So shut up.

--Nico

Kim

Would you care to share with the rest of us a list of their so-called qualifications that you claim to be aware of? Also, you claim to love the show, but do you subsribe to the cable network that their program airs on (HereTv)? Or are you one of the ones who watches the free clips on YouTube? Did you buy the DvD? Probably no to all of that. And I bet you couldn't give a list of the so-called qualifications either. So shut up.

--Nico

Nico,

"Bitter, party of one... your table's ready."

Oh dayum. I'm being dissed by the Pink Mafia. lol I guess it's good to have girlfriends.

In as much as someone likes to attack others for taking a stand to voice an opinion, thank you to those who are moved to comment. An impressive resume does not guarantee wisdom, nor does flat, oppressive thinking. Keep up the work. Thank you.

A misguided attempt at guidance doesn't guarantee wisdom or respect.

A misguided attempt at guidance doesn't guarantee wisdom or respect.

A misguided attempt at guidance doesn't guarantee wisdom or respect.

Nico, saw your HATER AID add, how about takin the hate down a 1000......for real though for two bothers who have been together for as long as they have I think think they're qualified to say a thing or two......Don't hate because they have eachother, feel the love spread the love.....Peace

Ok..this is really funny. I see all the little Deondray & Quincy homies are coming out of the proverbial closet to defend them. So let me say this -- and it will be the last comment I make on this particular blog:

@Deacon

I don't generally respond to people who use phrases like "HATER AID", because it indicates that you are immature and probably not intelligent enough for me to have a conversation with.

No one is hating on D & Q. Black love is a beautiful thing. And I am happy for them. I am one of the biggest supporters of their work in film. BUT if you have taken the time to actually read their blog and check out the little video they put up on that particular website you will see that it is not just a fluff piece. They are proposing to give clinical advice (whether they are aware of this or not) in an area that they are obviously not qualified to do so. This is dangerous. There is already too much misinformation on the subject of HIV/AIDS, so-called SAFE SEX, and people trying to deal with their sexuality and the social issues surrounding that. Psychologist have to take board exams and become certified and acquire practical experience in the field they choose to practice in. Just to say you have a college degree is not enough. And then to make political statements that are obviously incorrect about social and political events that took place long before you were born. That's arrogance. I am sorry that some of you little DL Chronicles fans don't understand that. Hmmmm, maybe if I added a few softcore pornagraphic sex scenes you could grasp the issue lol. But any,

Best

Nico

Homosexuality is Racism and White Supremacy

This article is taken from a piece I wrote called “An introduction to white supremacy?? But I have extracted and expanded this part on so called “homosexuality?? As they have made it clear their intentions to attack the Afrikan community, we should counter strike and setup plans of action to prevent them from holding us to their economic terrorism of boycotts and bans.

I want to first and foremost thank a Washington based think tank called Positive Kemetic Vision (PKV) for this piece of research and especially The Irritated Genie of Soufeese who has produced a DVD called “The Effeminisation of African Males"??. And also Brother Keidi Obi Awadu who owns http://www.libradio.com for airing the program.

Over the last 10 years, there has been a sustained campaign to link so called “Homosexuality?? with our struggle for freedom and justice. (I deliberately omitted equality as I personally do not want to be equal with a race of people who destroy, murder and kill, so we will leave that one out).

We have people like Peter Tatchell who targets Black entertainers for boycotts and attempts to get them throw off tours and their music banned. He never does the same with white entertainers like Eminem who talk about killing so called “Homosexual?? (we will get to why so called later). What I saw was duplicity in his logic.

I am not defending dance hall music or hip hop. I find it misogynist and promotes hyper sexual behavior. I will defend Black people who are under attack and don’t even know it.

Origins of White Sex

Let us break down this type of behavior. Remembering, that in any type of argument like this if you take it out of its historical context, it makes no sense. I call this behavior “white sex?? because this is purely a European phenomenon. The first literate Europeans and the corner stone of western ??white?? civilization can be found in Greece and an empirical part of Greek culture was for men even married men to have sexual relationships with young boys. This is why I do not call this misbehavior homosexuality. Intimate relationships between older adult men and male youth were not only common, but they were considered “a social duty to the state.?? They would meet the boys at the gymnasium, which was the place men could look at the naked adolescence and then they were taken away for their sexual deviance.

Within this Greco-Roman Culture, this is not Homosexuality. This is child molestation which GREEKS called pederasty (man to young boy sex). So deeply rooted was this type of misbehavior, that within the Greek mythology, Zeus (King of the Greek gods) turned into an eagle and descended on to earth to kidnap Ganymede (The most beautiful young boy) and take him to Mount Olympus for a sexual encounter. The greatest European philosopher Plato says “pederasty alone can fulfil a man’s highest and noblest aspirations. (A woman’s love is totally inferior, a purely physical impulse who’s sole purpose is the procreation of life.)?? Every other year in the UK, they attempt to pass a bill through parliament for lowering the age of consent. In the “united snakes of America,?? they have NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association) promoting the same ideology, lobbying the senate to legalize this type of misconduct.

How did we get it?

European culture is full of this type of decadence. Today, we follow willingly into this cesspit of degeneracy. Afrikan people have NEVER indulged in this type of behavior no matter how many Black men they say are on the “down low??.

In his book, “No More Lies about Africa: Here is the Truth from an African??, Chief Musamaali Nangoli writes these words: "Homosexuality is taboo in African society. Ten years of exhaustive research across the continent didn't produce any evidence of homosexuality having been a part of African life". He went on to write that "Men in Africa for example hold hands, but only as a brotherly gesture. Yet, Western scholars have misinterpreted this as an act of homosexuality. “Yet another cruel lie!?? Afrikan men will walk with arms over shoulder but this would never mean putting a penis into another man’s gastro intestinal track.

This is interjected behavioral patterns and one thing which should be analyzed is when these so called homosexuals had their first sexual encounter. You will find that most of them were molested, but they will tell you, it was them expressing their own sexuality even though they were only 8 years old or younger.

Afrikan people first experience with this was during slavery and colonialism. Where young girls and boys were raped and ravaged by slave masters. What type of trauma would a person go through if for hundreds of thousand of years your people have known that sex is between a female and male who were meant to be complimentary partners in the journey of life and then you are forced to accept this perversion by sexual predators.

Effeminisation of Afrikan Males

If you have ever studied European history and you should because it is the only history taught all over the world to Afrikan people. You should know the extent of this anal fixation. Once again, I must thank Brother Mwalimu Baruti who has a book called “Homosexuality and the Effeminisation of Afrikan Males?? in which, he broke down how a homosexual climate was forced upon us during slavery with a method called “Buck Breaking“??. If an Afrikan male resisted white power and was rebellious, they would create a circle with all the Sisters and Brothers on that Plantation and the man would be raped in the middle in front of everyone. This created a psychological impact of there is no black authority. This Black male cannot protect his mother, wife or children. He cannot protect himself and hence mothers would raise their children passive, effeminate and gender confused. This continues even today.

This is in our history.It can never be forgotten. In 2004, the same terrorism comes from the mass media. They used Ving Rhames who stared in (Rosewood) as a strong black man who resisted white power. They put him in (Pulp fiction) again as the strong rebellious man, but then out of the blue, he is raped in the middle of this movie (psychological)“Buck Breaking??). And then, he his turned out and gender confused in a movie called (Holiday Heart). where he is in drag for the whole movie. If this does not start to define paradigms in your head about your sexuality, they pull out their stealth bomber in the shape of Oprah Winfrey who does a show about gender confused 5 year olds boys who want to be girls. This woman is sick. Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby, and all these other self hating Negroes who perch down on our people from their comfort zones and criticize our people. (Personally, I did not have a problem with Cosby’s critique per se) but when you take our behavior out of the context of this terrorist culture we live in, I have to raise questions about their knowledge of the situation we are in. Cosby also produced a cartoon called “Fat Albert?? and he also did some of the voices, which spoke Ebonics and slang. The characters were up to nothing but degenerate behavior. Cosby has made millions defining how our children should act or behave, and when they do exactly what he has defined, he criticize. Cosby has donated millions of dollars to Morehouse and Spellman colleges and both are home to some of the largest Homosexual & Lesbian GREEK fraternities and sororities in America.

What I trying to get out is. We never started this way. Generational rape and assault left us damaged mentally. Think about it. 10 years after the “Trench Coat Mafia?? shot up a school in Columbine. Doctors, psychologist and others are counseling the victims. We have NEVER had any healing from the trauma of Slavery we have faced and you wonder why we participate in our own demise.

When Beverly Knight ( spends10 Minutes on News night chastising Beenie Man) and all these others talk about alternative lifestyle, Just give them a short lesson in their history which was not in “Roots??. The Europeans consider the ultimate death of an African was the white hot rod up the anus or left to bleed to death after a stake in the ground has been rammed and perforating the anus and guts. You must know that when brothers were lynched their penis was usually cut off. This anal and penis fixation is deep.

Defending African Culture

As Afrikan Men &Woman, we resist “white supremacy". We will allow the morals of our ancestors who lived and died so we can be here, guide us. Our ancestors were against this so called “homosexuality?? not as some bigotry, but it was one definition of White dominance and power. This is not Afrikan culture. It constitutes an anti-African act. Being a homosexual is Anti-African, end of story and we have the right to defend our culture.

In most African and Caribbean countries, this type of white sex buggery is illegal. In Zanzibar, they have had to increase the sentence to 25 years for this crime. European men where going on holiday and taking advantage of the poor young boys. It is the same in Haiti, Asia and others places. These Europeans are called sex tourist and in fact on my recent trip to Egypt reveals that Egyptians have tried to ban single white males from going south pass Aswan (Nubian Territory) because they are infesting that area with their amoral activity.

Real Agenda is White Supremacy

We know Peter Tatchell hates Robert Mugabe. We hear the stories of him attempting a citizen arrest and boycotting' s of the Zimbabwean cricket team. But again taken out of context, you would think this has something to do with the Europeans fantasy of so called Democracy?? and “Rule of law??. We never hear the part about Robert Mugabe spending 11 years in prison for resisting white power and the torture and sodomy he was subjected to which would make Abu Gharib prison look like nothing at all. We must resist this and try to get our Sisters and Brothers who indulge in this amoral behavior to come to their senses. Part of the horrors of our enslavement and colonization was the imposition of white sex upon us and our children as a show of white power. Their real agenda is total white supremacy. We HAVE BEEN INDOCTRINATED by a European psychology to accept their economics system, their laws, and their standards of beauty, everything from Euro-Americans. And now the ultimate, they are trying to get us to accept their decadent, maladaptive sexual behavior through a process called cognitive conditioning using mass media. Every night, you are bombarded with a barrage of so called homosexuality, Will and Grace, Queer eye for the gay guy, MTV Base etc and after a while through a process of cognitive conditioning, you begin to believe “hey this is ok, this is how “normal?? people behave.??

Standing up and defending our community

Where is our Black/African (wo)manhood who will stand up against this so called homosexuality and child molestation? We are not Europeans. We have our own ethics and morality. It has been so far eroded that known child sex offenders with questionable ethical behavior of putting children who are not family, into their beds with them are being defended by our community because they make good music. And when I raise questions about this, I am sidelined as a “hater??. When same sex endeavors are being promoted on TV at 5.00pm, when my children are watching, I do not want to see two men or women giving each other a tongue bath any time before the 9.00pm watershed. We must start using people like http://www.ligali.org to complain or go straight to the ofcom about this type of clandestine behavior.

In fact, let us start calling out this type of misbehavior and the members of our community who engage in these deviant sexual practices. This is not homosexuality. They have cleverly used the power of lexicon to make you believe that you have a choice of being either heterosexual or homosexual by making close word association. The type of misbehavior use to be called Greek Love or Socratic Love, but I like PKV definition “White Sex and people who engage “white sex offenders". Now we can group all that mess under one title. I'm talking about people you love rappers with their pornography video women and women grinding on each other “white sex". R Kelly pissing on our under age daughters “white sex offender". E Lynn Harris, the ladies favorite man with his carnal activities in his books “white sex" offender.

Turn off the Idiot Box

We have to first get out of our minds this “celebrity worship. Putting these degenerates who would pimp their mothers if there was a pound to be made, out of the houses. Parents start listening to the music your children are listening to. If you can’t make decision for a 5, 10 or 15 year old, then hand back in your parenting license and give your
children to someone who understands how to guide children into the right direction. Young Black males need strong male role models in their lives. Uncles, brothers, anyone especially if their father is gone. But be careful remember there are predators in our mist who prey on the vulnerable and defenseless for sexual gratification. Someone who can replace 50 Cents and Ja (I cant wake up without doing drugs) Rule as the images of how to be powerful and effective men in the community. We must also start turning off the damn TV and let our children and ourselves take pride in reading a book (non-fiction). Remember during slavery not only were we brutalized. We were prevented from reading for almost 300 years. We have a lot of reading to catch up on.

Hotep (Peace)
Aluta continua – The struggle continues

I enjoyed reading the info on relationships. I have been in a relationship for 8 yrs. We have truly had our ups & downs, but our love for one another out weighs it all. I feel blessed & honored to have the woman of my dreams. Hetrosexual people talk about same-sex relationships as though our form or relationship is so much different than theirs. I believe we all experience some of the same issues in our relationships as they do. I'm praying for the day when we can all be who we are without condemnation.

8 yrs and 80 to go

@ QUEENBABYLUV

Um... thanks for the hate? If being African means that im going to hate other human beings. Then I guess ill just stick with being a brainwashed slave descendant.

It was great to see the "outside of relationships"
We meet a few years ago at the 1 st Black Men's Film Conference in NY City ..I was the event coordinator for FROST'D. Currently working in the South Bronx at a Community Base Organization but also appointed member of the NYC Mayor's Advisory Board for HIV/AIDS. (HASA). If you are in NYC please contact me, would love to have you both speaker at my agency.
Hope you remember me.
Please keep in touch and good luck with the show.
yours,
Michael A. Irizarry
mirizarry@citiwidehr.org
718-292-7718 ext 235

art65

In 2006, I had the pleasure of meeting this happy couple at the film festival. I must say you two are quite charming and an admirable couple especially when upholding your gracious relatioship. I'm sure it is endearing loving one another. It was a pleausre getting your input to the above Q&A. I think you did an eloquent job and again thanks.

J.B.

Queenbabyluv, I'll say you got a lot of reading to do. First you need to go back to all those books you already read cause u made alot of mistakes girl on western white-man history. Then start with E.Africa and women-women marriages and move over to Nubia etc.. to see the long history of same-sex love in africa and how that is being destroyed by the white man and his christian beliefs. Then u need to go back and read all the black feminist literature on the problem that men and male dominated culture have made in Africa and America for far too long. Women have no status in African society and this has held back both the whole society and the men in it. So girl get to work.

Get working because you got alot of reading to do, cause you need to get that story str8.

Thank you Studd for trying to set Queenbabyluv straight! It's draining at times and I didn't feel like addressing her misinformation! To this Nico fool.... I'm african american as well as my partner of 21 years. Quincy and Deondray are most qualified to speak regarding relationships and give advice. Their relationship is 11 years strong, that's all the experience needed. I know a black gay couple who's been together 30 years. We are all equally qualified to speak and give advice when we are living the experience. No degree is required!