They Day I Realized I Was American

"It takes someone from another country, who has felt the effects of American economic imperialism, to show just how deep Western ideology is ingrained".

Isn't that your own failure? Have you never been to a Walmart and noticed 90% of the crap sold is from China? Ever notice how many Americans don't have health insurance? (while just about every country provide health care to their citizens). Ever heard of someone losing their job as it's been outsourced to Mexico, India, or China?

That's all to quote you, "American Economic Imperialism" at work and in our every day, an ideology to profit(for the stakeholders) ingrained in our culture (at the expense of the workers).

>It takes a land ravaged by American neocolonialism to provide the experiences that highlight my true colors: red, white, and blue.

The Mexicans have an argument that land you speak of is the whole Western U.S. Native Americans would also teach you a few things as well.

_

No one has to go to a foreign country to have illustrations of your point - just open your eyes.

You're a college kid, hopefully you'll do well and be like the rest of us, buy a big inefficient BMW, a big home with an inefficient sprinkler system and grand lawn, you'll join the mainstream.

Nicole,
It was not untill I was in japan that I realized how american I was. It is a strange feeling to go from a feeling of "second class" citizen while you are here to being an An American while you are "there" where ever that is. You are right sometimes it does not matter to the folks in whose homeland you are visiting how you identify yourself. I think the more i travel the more I learn about myself. I learned I was an American when I was in Japan ( we are really a loud people comparitively) I didnt realize the "weight" I carried being Black living in the south untill I went to vancouver and that was not a primary factor for me there. Keep traveling and you will learn more. Tell your story and listen to others as you travel. As americans we are not encouraged to travel, but from one sista to another I can tell you it is what feeds the soul. As you travel more you will realize that we have more in common than not with folks all over the world.

I can certainly relate to your experience. My response to the stereotypes of foreigners to all Americans was different. I learned that other cultures can be just as ignorant, sterotypical, judgmental, meanspirited and hateful as any American. We do not have a monopoly on ugly Americanism and xenophobia. While we like to think that we are somehow backwards compared to others who speak many languages (they have to because they live in fractured inefficient societies)I've learned that being an American ain't half as bad as many Europeans, Latin Americans, Africans and Asians would have you believe. Despite our one language, we are truly more multicultural fairer to minorities than most of these nations. Just ask the Hutus in Rwanda.

Well, as one who has traveled to places where some people have never seen a black person, this whole idea of not being an American is kind of silly to me, and, one trip abroad hardly makes one capable of putting down the arrogane ofthe country, since, all countries and people feel they are better than the rest of the world, try Asian ones, they feel superior to the USA and Europe.

The only thing I have to gripe about are the negative stereotypes that others in the world have about blacks, the ones sent out from Hollywood and the so called rappers, this makes black Americans look worse than average white American, and, most of the world thinks this is what a real black American is like. No matter the many, many, many faults with the USA in how it deals with people of color, its still the best place on earth, no matter how the Bushs', Thomas', Rices' and tag teaming Clinton's want to make it otherwise for black Americans.

@ CMONEY,
"...Just ask the Hutus in Rwanda". Care to elaborate?

I totally relate to yr experience!

the first time i was in Mexico, strangers were rude and harsh towards me because i was American. My good friend from college, that was Mexican, told me its because ppl are hostile against American policies and not to worry bout it. In one of their downtowns, one random guy was screaming "f** America"or something of that sort towards me. It was a pretty weird feeling.

After a while though, i stopped saying i was American and started saying i was African. ppl were way more nice and receptive then :)

Dear Nicole,

Six months is way too short a time to create and imprint an identity of your own to those around you. Think about how long it may have taken in your own home. Generalisations often apply at initial contacts. Sometimes useful and funny sometimes painful and destructive.

Stay a little bit while longer and aim to learn more.

Shabaka: The genocide in Rwanda was an explosion of rage by the Hutu majority against years of discrimination against them by the ruling Tutsi minority. For years in Rwanda it was the reverse of the usual situation where the majority discriminates against the minority. In 1994, the tables turned and the oppressed majority went on a killing spree against their oppressors (of course this is an oversimplifiaction). I bring that up to challenge the assumptions of foreigners that American culture is inherently inferior. We haven't had a genocide in years :-). We resolve our problems in courts and legislatures that generally respond to petitions. We have minority institutions. How many Black banks are there in France or Britain? How many Minority CEO's are there in these White nations that love to criticize American racism? India is one of the most ethnocentric nations in the world. It blatantly discriminates against its own citizens on the basis of Caste, Color and Religion. The same could be said for most nations in the world. The U.S. with all its warts is the best place for a non-majority person to succeed. As for South Africa, they shouldn't sneer too much. Their old system of apartheid was modeled on American Jim Crow laws. When they criticize us, they are really criticizing their own hateful past.

Dear cmoney,

Dont ever attempt to excuse bullshit. Just because its your own. Or because there's bullshit in many places.

I think Dear Nocole is doing the right thing, being reflective of how people perceive her. On the other hand, you are defensive.

And I figure you are referring to White South Africans, who should not sneer and criticise too much? Well South Africans are mostly black. And most hated and still hate their past. So many died for it to change. They did not try to justify it. Don't.

In any case, that is not quite the point that Nicole is making.

The world hates America. And people like Nicole who probably also hate it have suffered because they are not easily distinguishable, at least not at first sight. That's how I said she must stay a bit longer than six months, to emerge as herself. I also hate generalisations, especially on my identity. I am not at all typically nationalistic, so I'd hate being seen as some nation.

Just on the side: think through that Rwanda-analogy you made. What if america was the minority and the world was the now hateful majority. And think when a genocide may be coming or may have come. Strange how history loves replicating itself.

anonymity: Of course I am responding defensively, just like you are. Many of the criticisms I hear from non-Americans when I visit their countries are based on false information and beliefs. So no, I am not just going to accept their ridiculous beliefs as the truth. Much of the "hate" is just jealousy and muuch of it is justified. But check this out: I am an American, like it or not, so don't expect me to support others who hate me or my country. I wouldn't expect you to do the same for your country.

Okay. Mr Bush.

anonymity: You just proved my point. Americans don't have a monopoly on arrogance, ignorance and bigotry.

No they dont. I never said they do. Or that the French are are less bigoted. Or myself. I said dont excuse it. Also, stop speaking for all Americans.

The ones that I like dont share your views. I have little to zero respect for nationalists like Bush. Yours and his language are quite similar to me.

Lovely article Nicole. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

I have said over and over again that africans look at their black counterparts (us) with disdain because of how we focus more on what happened in the past than on moving forward.

When I hear young black kids start ranting and raving about slavery I ask them do they have any african friends at their school. Most say yes. I them ask "do you feel they socialize with you out of friendship or just cooperate with you to get the class project done. I then notice them getting quieter and quieter.

Well done Nicole and thanks again.

Greetings,
I completely understand where you are coming from Nicole. As an upcoming undergraduate, this is an issue I have come to battle with during my academic career. Coming into college I was apprehensive, and still somewhat apprehensive in believing that I am a true American. However, as much as I try to run from this fact, my reasoning’s based upon the ideological and structural discrimination American principles have placed upon Blacks in this country; I have come to realize that I am American. I have come to this realization because of my own desire to impact the American fabric that I speak of previously. My ability to impact social, political, and economic change through activism and scholarly endeavors proves my American state. Having the right to education, no matter the struggles faced in gaining an education, makes me American.

It is my belief that after coming to such a pivotal point in life, realizing that we may be assimilated into a culture of discrimination, it is our civic duty as college students to make some social impact for change. You have had the opportunity to face this daunting issue first hand through your study abroad. Now the important question is how you plan to make an impact.

Speaking for myself, I plan on utilizing my education to make a change first in the communities that have developed me into the person I am today. That is, to further develop my research interest in Black sexuality and masculinity. It is my goal to research definitions of masculinity, and develop definitions of masculinity that are more applicable to Black men, than current definitions. In doing so, hopefully I will be able to help alleviate issues amongst Black men concerning issues of masculinity, manhood, and how we should interact with such ideas that seem to be restrictive in our communities.

I really have enjoyed your article, and look forward to reading more of your articles to see the growth upon which you will receive from this enriching study abroad experience.

Good luck Kasim. You have your work cut out for you.

You are dealing with people still believing that they live in a past that less than half of them can honestly say they remember or lived in (life in the pre civil rights act era).

If the subject of black business comes during a discussion ask one of those speaking to name one black bank that used to be in their community before the civil rights act passed and then ask them to name one now. Don't be suprised at either answer.

I do wish you luck and hope you are successful. At least you care and want to do something.

Interestingly, I think your response is somewhat problematic in my opinion. I do believe that you have a reoccurring theme concerning Black American's moving forward. This somewhat ties into my strong desire to teach. Yes, the Civil Rights Act opened the door and was a watershed event for improving the lives of Black Americans. However, I think it takes a closer, more comprehensive, examination to determine the current livelihood of Black Americans. I will admit that this article upon which Nicole wrote, exemplifies the point forthcoming.

Black Americans have been forced to focus highly on economic survival and stability, historically and socially. Nicole stated, "Few people here care about the numerous steps I took to cultivate an identity that is the antithesis of all the negative stereotypes that are associated with America's legacy of imperialism abroad and colonization at home." This is interesting because of an identity conflict, an identity conflict I think many Black Americans face. The identity conflict I am speaking of concerns the issues of being American enough and/or Black enough. Then she later stated: "I was about squeezing the most money from others no matter the cost to them. I was a perfect capitalist demanding from individuals what the market would bear, which was in stark contrast to his more communal and humane decision." Here she realizes that she has become the perfect capitalist. This is a critical point, but it’s the transformation and conclusion that is drawn that is the most praiseworthy. Lastly her evolution somewhat completes: "It takes a committed progressive to know that a subversive identity is long in the making, and it requires breaking down a deeply entrenched ideology."

Now you may be wondering why I broke this down, and I am getting at this point. Issues of capitalism and economics are all issues upon which we are trained to concern ourselves with. I can even bring this to a more local setting. At my university the number of business majors that are Black men, far exceeds any other major with Black men. You even raise an issue based around an entity that symbolizes economic vitality. In my opinion, Blacks since the Civil Rights Act have utilized the marginal gains to help them secure financial stability for future generations. In doing so, Blacks have not been able to unlock the ideological shackles of capitalism and imperialism. Maybe it doesn’t need complete unlocking and disavowal, but maybe just a deeper understanding, so that change can be promoted. Washing one’s hands of a situation may not be the best option all the time. We need warriors willing to work and change. "To live in the past," is not necessarily a completely bad thing. Black Americans need a re-focusing of energy in learning and understanding socio-historical frameworks of Blacks in this country. This doesn't mean the typical "slave" story, but rather understanding how Blacks have played an integral role in the development of the American fabric to date. If more time was spent in educating Blacks on these topics, then I believe we wouldn't be "living in the past".

Your comment came off cynical. Maybe I took it wrong, but I say the next time you are discussing things, maybe you should ask that question. If you are not able to gain an answer for either, utilize that as a time for education. Hopefully this doesn't come off wrong. I am just all about educating our people. I see any opportunity as a means for gaining knowledge, even in the midst of something that could be perceived as negative. As long as we are spending time “breaking down the deeply entrenched ideology” of the American fabric then we can be providing ourselves, and later generations, with progressive change. If I took your response wrong, I do dearly apologize. But hopefully you were able to find some good in this response.

It is interesting to me that both Nicole and Kasim seem YOUNG open and quite hopeful.

The other day a friend told me that we should not spend too much time in the company of white people. Normatively speaking. I looked at her and through her facial expression I realized that we were not getting any younger. A permanently twisted mouth is one sign.

Kasim again I say good luck. You did an excellent job of proving to a black man here that you are a YOUNG university educated black woman.

When you get started and start making progress be careful of how forceful your presentations are when you do them at churches and in front of major black audiences. The black recruiters for the major philanthrophies and corporations who are present to strip away the ones who actually might end up making a difference (better job and benefit offers) tend to skip over the ones who fly off the handle easily. Unfortunately your post sounds more like you are SCREAMING your views than the reality of the situation at hand both past and present. I know you are intellegent but remember the newspapers of every major city in america is written on a 6th grade level for all regardless of race.

Take care and again GOOD LUCK. And watch that temper. You have your entire life and career options are ahead of you.

I'm just curious, if those who have not realized they are American, just what are they? You born here as were your parents and grandparents grow up here, you are American, sheesh, what else would you be??? I'm black and as American as anyone else.

I recently visited Paris and for the first time in my four trips there, I visited the community called "Little Africa", a ghetto where numerous Africans, the legacy of French colonalism, were packed into. Many came there to look for economic gains unavailable to them in Africa, and instead of being welcomed many found themselves stuck in menial positions/jobs. I didn't see ONE person of color in a position of authority or responsibility...just maids, carrying heavy cargo, or sweeping.

When I went into a fashionable restaurant, I found that I was being led to a booth far in the corner, and I insisted to Monsieur that I wanted to sit with everyone else. I finally just sat down, and refused to move. I told him, regardless of how Africans are treated in France, I am an American so don't play me like that!

Everywhere I went as a tourist I saw no Africans or other people of color.

When I arrived back in New York, I told Customs I was glad to be back home. Warts and all, I'd rather live here than in many other places in the world.

James it must have really meant a lot to you to eat at that particular restaurant. I don't know you personally but if they had called the police and said they had a black american male in the restaurant who thinks he has the status of Oprah (remember her HERMES experience)and it turns out you did not I hate to think of what might have happened.

Whether the business be white, black, oriental or whatever I would never kiss someone's ass to take my money.

A strange irony here: The article tries to provoke some critical thought about how and why we identify ourselves as American. And yet, many of these responses reinforces the very problem that the author is pointing out: that American national identity only seems relevant and defensible to her (and many other African Americans) when questioned, critiqued and held to standards American have imposed on others. Nothing new there. While it is not necessary to go abroad to find out that one is American, travelling does make one confront some of these issues, even for a moment.

The author's naivete about how she is implicated in the US's representation of itself overseas is not random or coincidental. It is a longstanding practice among African Americans to situate one's "Black" self outside the America that has never valued blackness. Blackness is another nation so to speak, one that often seems to compete with one's ability to feel a part of and to take advantage of the privileges of Americanness. Wasn't it DuBois who talked about double consciousness, and the unique conflict that African Americans face by being Black and American?

But the mistake many, many African Americans then go on to make, is to think that their experience of "blackness" is somehow universal and will be recognized and validated by black people everywhere else. I suspect this is part of the author's problem as well. Isn't this the ethos of black nationalism which, no matter how dilute or coded, is an integral part of the air that is breathed at black colleges these days. Yet, African Americans travelling beyond these contigous states - from AfAm women missionaries to Africa in the 18th and 19th centuries, to June Jordan, Audre Lorde, James Baldwin, Michael Hanchard, et al. have had a lot to say about that issue. Clearly, this author, even attending a school like Spelman, has simply not done her homework or taken the right classes.

The author's essay also shows precisely the problems of being American: that one can actually believe that we can choose how we identify, and so externalize our national identity and be so disconnected from the effects, that we do not think or see how any other force has any effect on how we see ourselves. I cannot think of many other societies where that mentality is even possible.
That blindness to what makes us who we are, and the accompanying sense of entitlement that we ought to be treated better and seen exactly how we want to be seen is what creates "the ugly American" archetype. Just because the mass media does a great job of using white Americans to represent everything - including disgusting behaviours and pitiful ignorance about the rest of the world - does not mean that Black Americans are not similarly afflicted. Just ask any Black person who lives in the US, and speaks languages other than English or who demonstrate a cosmopolitan sensibility. They will surely agree that their toughest and most dismissive critics are African Americans: within the narrow definitions of blackness (articulated by both African Americans and whites) that operate here in the US, 'real' Black people don't do speak those things.

The ironies of being African American outside of the US come in many forms: the one most 'celebrated' is that they are often treated 'better' than the racial minorities in the places they visit precisely because "American" often trumps "black" at the all-inclusive resorts and the favelas. That folks like those above look to "cash in" on these dubious privileges and then to promote America as somehow better and to see African Americans as more "evolved" than black people elsewhere, is a behavioral symptom of that American identity.

Tilly as I have said in a previous posting and will say again the major newspapers in all major cities are written on a 6th grade level so all readers for the most part can understand. I honestly saw no need for a very intelligent person that you seem to be to use that type of vocabulary.

I am trying to figure out what you were trying to say and I am reminded of a saying that my anthropology teacher told me at the community college I attended."If you can't bowl them over with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit".

Tilly: I never mentioned whether my experiences overseas were in a White or non-White country. Frankly, my experience is the ignorance of non-Americans to what America and Americans are REALLY like knows no color. In fact, I hear pretty much the same stereotypes of Americans in Europe that I hear in South America that I hear in some parts of the Caribbean (particularly the French Caribbean). These stereotypes come from people who have never been to America and only know us from tourists or television. Some think that all Blacks are poor and oppressed (which doesn't explain how the hell I was able to afford to vacation there!). The universal one is that if you are a Black American and travelling overseas, you must be an entertainer or an athlete. Many are shocked to learn that there are Black lawyers and doctors and business men in America. They can't believe that such people exist because America is a racist country, according to the propaganda they've been fed. Brazilians are particularly good playing the race card against Americans, yet they have more Blacks than the US and hardly any Blacks in their government, corporate world or in any elite field. They have no right to criticize us when it comes to racism. Even people from countries where women can't even drive, hold elective office or vote have the nerve to criticize us. I'm sorry, but countries that don't even recognize the equality of women can go straight to hell and aren't even worth listening to when they talk all that anti-American stuff. When I'm in their countries, I respect them and their culture, but will not accept their condemnation of my culture and country when they don't even respect half their citizens.

Cmoney you are right, and, the worst place for stereotypes about black Americans outside of Europe is Asia. On a trip to china, this woman kept coming up to me in broken English asking, n-word you want post card, over and over again, and with a smile and, no malice, and, I was totally embarrassed as I was with white friends on those this trip, who the Chinese would fall over backwards trying to help. And, a trip to Jamaica years ago, the same thing, they were so busy sucking up to the whites, that black Americans were ignore, it was a bad and pathetic joke on their behalf. In Brazil, same thing, black and you are looked down on in the white hotels and "thier" beaches. This whole thing is you are black no matter where you are on this planet first, an, American second, and, with all the problems here with overt and subtle racism, give me the USA and the moniker of black American any day of the week.

Although, I can identify with the OP's discovery of her "American" ways, my experiences as an African-American in Central and South America were quite different from those described by the original poster. 1st, people always found it hard to believe I was North American. They always thought I or my parents were from Belize, Guatemala (Garifuna), or Ecuador and that I moved to and was educated in the U.S. I felt at home in Belize City instantly - it reminded me of my own mostly African-American city in the U.S. and I felt welcomed and connected. In Ecuador (lived and worked there 10 months), I often gave "lessons" on how Black folk ended up in the U.S. Although the people I worked and lived around knew I was American - I was referred to as the morena (brown-skinned lady) more than the American. In Ecuador my son and I both experienced racism and I never felt compelled to pull the "American" card just to get a false sense of respect from store owners, restaurants, nor bus drivers. My feeling was "don't want my business or friendship now just because you know where I'm from" because I don't feel like I'm distinctly different from any of the other Afro-Guatemaltecos or Ecuatorianos.
I think it is inappropriate and naive to believe that ALL foreigners - in the African diaspora or otherwise - look at all Americans or African Americans the same way. Not all Africans have disdain for African-Americans just like not all African-Americans think they are better than Africans. There are people all across the African diaspora that understand the eternal connection we have to each other and look for ways to reach out and connect across cultures to help Black people in general. Like someone posted earlier, I feel Black first and North American second. I find that I have more in common culturally (from family life to world view to daily nuances) with people that I've come in contact with in Belize and Ecuador than I have with many of my Caucasian coworkers. I married an Afro-Colombian and we are quite similar in world-view and cultural norms although I grew up in the greater metropolitan Chicago area and he grew up in a small mostly - Black village off the coast of Colombia.

Lastly, I'll say that I traveled to Guatemala and Ecuador with my then - 7 year old son and he, too, was considered more of a moreno than American. He had a great time playing on a basketball team in Guatemala, but had a horrible time dealing with violently racist children in a local Ecuadorian school.

a great friend of mine once told me that your home is where your accent is.

Took me a while to realise that the accent is not only in the sound of speech. It includes even the way one walks down the pavement. Or is it the sidewalk.

Thanks Tally for being much less self-interested.

As an American of African descent, I find this discussion incredible. It's why I come here. It's why I am so grateful to Keith B., the contributors, the scholars, the posters. This is really something.

If ever I did, I long ago ceased expecting easy solutions on the path as an American of African descent, cause there ain't none commin. Given the complexity of this issue, among so many others, I'm sometimes lead to think that the discussion is all we have of real value; our individual experience, you know?

I do know that your thoughts here enrich my mind, perhaps informs my individual actions, and most of all, makes me so proud of you all, especially you, er, youngsters (don't let em fool ya - we got nothin but love for ya).

Isn't the discussion of African-American existence compared to African-African existence mirrored by the discussion of Black versus Biracial politics of privilege versus lack of privilege?

Isn't the pain of being rejected or not taken seriously for being African American in mostly African societies, similar to the pain of being not black enough as a biracial human being in mostly black or white environments?

But the pain is often paralled and accompanied by personal gains made from being almost white in contexts that prefer or favour anything white or close enough to being white.

I find the conflict of loss vs. benefit based on perceived identity to be universal. Whether one is in Brazil or Capetown similar questions glare at you. So it is interesting as Tilly points out that here, what is probably a global human question of access and privilege or lack of both, has been Americanised within an African-American i.d. Blindly and typically?

I guess the 'religion' has always been that somehow 'I' or 'WE' are more special than any other/s and also very particular. We always deserve more of everything than any other. And we achieve relatively more but only if we stick to our iconic symbols that signify us as a recognisable group or nation.

But only for O'bama to then call us 'bitter'. lol.

American Economic Imperialism, you say? Take a look at the Communist "Workers Paradise" to see worker exploitation at the world's highest art form. Communists are supposed to be specialists are protecting the worker class not make an art form out of worker exploitation in wages, rights and child labor. Our labor protection laws and enforcement of them are among the best in the world. "Red, white and blue" Nicole? let those colors come through within you to continue to improve our imperfections and not towards some false "workers paradise". Hope you enjoy SA.

I think China is an interesting example of how workers can be explointed by any form of economic system whose implenters are intent of exploiting others. At this point I am not sure if workers are exploited more or less in China versus Russia. And for whose final benefit? The communist/capitalist debate is to me like the Muhammad/Christ debate of the year 100 A.D.

Mute.

There are some 'good' christians much like there are some 'good' muslims, and then there are some monsters across religion, economic system and social ideology.

No guy is intrisically nice just by virtue of being born in a particular location. Someone should also let the Swiss in Europe know this fact. I like a lot of Germans.

Hey Nicole.

Sorry it took so long to respond. I also understand your frustration with coming to terms with your American status. As African Americans, we have this somewhat feeling of disdain toward this country because from its very foundation of corruption, people of African descent epitomized subhumanness and for that reason people of color are still fighting misrepresentations and to be included in the dominant spaces of this hell-hole. One thing that's striking to me is the lack of self-critique among African Americans about our own participation in this capitalist factory. So when we go overseas, the lack of education regarding our struggles in the states fuels the disdain not only toward the U.S., but if we're not careful, also to those who make those "American jokes". The reality is there is so much to the story that is untold, and we have to be smarter than to let our generalizations and the generalizations of those from other countries disrupt our progress for self-definition. When I went to Ghana, I had the very same issue. But I couldn't feel completely angry at Ghanaians, nor could I feel completely angry at myself. I came to understand my conditioning--I am a product of my environment even if that environment treats me like a jealous step-mother. I am not completely void of her ways. However, once I can make that distinction, my growth is then propelled to transcend me to another level of understanding. I learned that despite the systemic oppressions and its impact on our daily lives as human beings and despite our histories and struggles as a people; people are just people. And it's high time that we link our intellectual, political and philosophical beliefs to match our personal interactions with one another. I don't know if this makes sense, but it does to me. I wish you well and keep pressin on!

One more thing, Tilly put it best. My brotha brucito, you must not read much because I understood exactly what Tilly said. Word of advice, if you can't say anything uplifting then just stop talking all together.

Peace!

Pat-Rice it is unfortunate that you did not look back at the second to last sentence of your first post about making sense. That one sentence says it all. And just to let you know I have no intentions of following your suggestion.

Your lips are moving but all I hear is blah,blah,blah..............