Why we can't support Chris Brown

Well said Frank!! Now, we need to hear what the legal system has to say. Women do not deserve to be treated abusively. It is totally unacceptable.

So what do you suggest, that we crucify Chris Brown and hope he never sees the light of day ever again. Why are we so quick to hope bad on a person, because they make/made a mistake. "He without sin cast the first stone". I'm not saying that he should be absolved of all wrong doing, because he should be prosecuted like anyone else who commits a domestic violence crime. Just get all the facts in the case first before you start taking sides.

It's misogynistic to acknowledge a woman's role in what may lead up to a case of domestic violence?

It's misogynistic to talk about Brown's previous history which may or may not have included him being a good guy?

Using your logic, If a woman killed her husband or boyfriend in a fit of rage (possibly provoked by him), we should not even attempt to understand or show support for her because then that would in turn be sexist against men?

He should be critiqued and thrown in jail if found guilty is my take on it. young black man who gave this woman and alleged vicious beat down? The negative view of black men in this society is due to the fact that many of them seem to no have nay home training or basic social skills and have taken on that cartoonish hyper masculine attitude from the hood. If this had been Justin Timberlake doing the beat down, it would have been just as fast and furious as it should be to get him axed from endorsements and such. I refuse to give any so called "man" a pass when he is a coward and beats up women no matter what his skin color is, since he is nothing but a coward. And, if black folks don't want to keep it real and condemn this sort of battering, let the white folks do it for the victim.

I agree with your assertion that we shouldn't make excuses for Chris Brown, but I do believe we should support the truth and not tabloid spin. I agree that the "evidence" thus far doesn't look good for Chris, but at the very least he deserves the opportunity to share his side of the story. Granted, he's got a lot of explaining to do, and there's no logical explanation for hitting a women but we must be careful about prosecuting him before the investigation is done. It seems were so quick, me included, to prosecute without the whole story, this is especially true when it comes to a subject like the protection of our women. But lets slow down and let the police do their job before we pass judgment.

Here we go again with information that we didn't get from Chris or Rihanna but rather from the media...How can you boycott someone when you don't even know the situation?? I think that abuse to anyone is bad but it doesn't make it right to attack either Chris Brown or Rihanna when we don't know their story. We don't know what really happened unless we can get both stories along with evidence supporting them...

I don't think anyone should make snap judgments against either of these children. BUT, Chris Brown made a decision in the vehicle with Rihanna, no matter what the circumstances surrounding what happened before the incident. He made a decision that he would put his hands on a woman and that is what he did. I don't care if she hit him first, whether she has been the abuser and he "had enough", whether the rumors pan to be true. There were many decisions he could have made no matter what was going on in the vehicle on that night, and he chose to respond with violence. That is all I need to know. He should be held accountable for his actions, not the surrounding issues. We, as adults have to make decisions everyday that will affect us either negatively or positively, and when you make bad judgments, you must deal with the consequences.

If R. Kelly avoided jail and continued to sell records after video taping himself urinating on a teenage girl; what makes any of us think C Brown will be held accountable? A Damn Shame indeed!

ShaQuitta, I said that a week ago. You are right. I am still a fan of R. Kelly. However, if he can get off why can't Chris. I also stated that if the Rumors about her(Rihanna) are true then I almost understand why he hit her. Almost.

Amen Mr. Roberts -- very well said. I think you are right on point in addressing this as an issue of black male sexism/misogyny.

Why you can't support Chris Brown is because you could believe that you are the walking personification of perfection. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. It won't be you "Mr. Feminist." It won't be Rihanna. It will probably be her father. I can't judge him, but was he perfect in his daughter's witness? None of us are, but we also can't live their lives for them now can we. Live and learn to forgive or live a lonely life? What can the world learn from this situation? If a man can urinate on a woman and sell records, there is room for Chris Brown to recover. Case dismissed. He's not perfect nor am I.

Why you can't support Chris Brown is because you could believe that you are the walking personification of perfection. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. It won't be you "Mr. Feminist." It won't be Rihanna. It will probably be her father. I can't judge him, but was he perfect in his daughter's witness? None of us are, but we also can't live their lives for them now can we. Live and learn to forgive or live a lonely life? What can the world learn from this situation? If a man can urinate on a woman and sell records, there is room for Chris Brown to recover. Case dismissed. He's not perfect nor am I.

Violence against women is the issue Cecil, not sin. Your point about witnesses is an interesting one, I wonder how many witnesses there are to the accusations many in our community have slandered that woman with? I wonder how many preachers are preaching on violence against women, and whether that's part of the ideal relationship God intends for his people? Society's job isn't to punish sin; it's to punish criminal activities. And yes, violent assault is a criminal activity. If he is guilty, he should go to jail. And, we as a community, should show him love and support, and emphasize for him how important it is that he take responsibility for his actions and pay for the crime he allegedly committed, and not to use his celebrity status to use the tabloids to slander his alleged victim. The Bible says, "to whom much is given, much is required." Mr. Brown is not your average Black male, he has levels of access and privilege most of us can't dream of. And yes, he should be held to a higher standard, because we need role models of higher caliber than most. What we certainly don't need is excuses from those who are worried about the social health of black people that gloss over negative behavior by elites that our children will only then emulate. That's not feminism, that's justice.

Here's a reality check for the people (apparently mostly men) rushing to Chris Brown's defense. Assuming what we know so far, if she was your little sister and Chris Brown was your brother-in-law, how good of an excuse would he have to give you before you would cut him this kind of slack? Would you call the police on him? I have a good opinion of _my_ brother-in-law, but if my little sister showed up on my doorstep looking the way Rihanna apparently looked in the well-distributed photo, and told me he'd done that to her, well, my first reaction would NOT be 'what did you do to provoke him?'

Where were you sitting in his Lamborghini? You must have been riding the hump because it is a two seater. Otherwise, how the hell do you know what happened in that car? If we can't defend Chris Brown, you can't CONDEMN him without knowing the facts. People in America are innocent until proven guilty and Chris Brown hasn't even ben charged with a crime! And as I have stated earlier in this blog, there may well be some legitimate reasons for beating the shit out of a woman, i.e., if she is attacking you with a knife or a gun. I'll be damned if I will just stand there and let someone attack me with no response because she's "a lady". Puh-leeze!! And why does this have to be a Black issue? Domestic violence knows no color. True, people should not be violent against one another and I was very disturbed to see Rihana bruised up, but I don't see how you get off on slamming Chris Brown when you don't know jack about what happened in that car.

I can agree with you that we should be disgusted at this act of violence. Actually, we should be this disgusted on ANY act of violence. Ok, so say we show "outrage, disgust, and/or disapproval of his misogyny", then what or where does that lead us???? Does it actually help better our community? Whould you be so outraged if it was the other way around, say Rihanna bruise and beat up Chris? NO! We would be calling him weak and a punk, if you were to tell the truth about that sort of situation and you know it. Any type of violence toward a woman OR A MAN is wrong, wrong, wrong. And I feel we can be disgusted, and outrage but if we are not offering any type of help then we are only shooting ourselves in the foot.

We can support Chris Brown if we all remember this is their life and we have no axe to grind or money to gain from their pain. Looking at this case with the emotional prejudice so many of us have blinds us to the facts that "Domestic Abuse" is not a "Silent Crime." People give warning signs everyday, but we ignore them until we see the explosion of anger and gasp for breathe. In the aftermath and anger, we demand justice for all the sins ever perpertrated on us or anyone we've ever known. You can't see or seek the truth watching the twin towers fall again and again. All you will ever want is revenge.

Amen! I'm so glad to see that is this written by a BLACK MAN - who is teaching others about gender YES! Although we don't know all of the facts about this particular case it is SO important that we stop blaming victims and draw attention to the misogyny that is so inherent in our community that most don't even notice they're wrong ways of thinking.

I think it is powerful for young men and women of all ethnicities and backgrounds to read Mr. Roberts' take on accountability and personal responsibility. Isn't that what it all boils down to? Are we trying to crucify Chris Brown by asking him to be fully accountable (meaning taking personal responsibility for the consequences of your actions-and he has at this point acknowledged personally that he did assault Rihanna-without attempting to hide behind whatever your reasons for said action might be) for physical battery? We've all seen the picture by now, and clearly this was not a quick retaliation for her physical aggression. She was battered. I fully promote environments of fairness and know that tabloids have forever changed how we receive and process information as a society, but he admitted that he hit her. As I tell my 13 year old son, your hands do not belong on anyone out of anger-ANYONE. The only exception is self-defense. And when you are 6'2" and she is a slim 5'8" it should be obvious that the fight is not fair. That is not self-defense. That is abuse. You are abusing the power dynamic of the situation to assuage your anger. You have to know how to walk away. Suck it up and walk away. I have no interest in crucifying Chris Brown. I find this entire situation extremely sad, extremely. I find no joy in nailing him to a cross and I do hope that he finds the help he needs, and that Rihanna finds the help that she needs as well. But obviously the sparks that fly between the two of them are not healthy and if anyone is driven to the point of battery, it is time to go. I pray that that is the lesson that young men and women find in this situation, and that this has been made clear to my own son. There is never an excuse for an unfair fight, and you need to be mature and self-possessed enough to make the right decision when it counts.

Amen Frank!

I am torn on this one. At 16 I was in an abusive situation with a boy who was a golden gloves boxing champ. He didn't punch me but he did man handle me, grab me,and do everything to express his physical power over me and I would fight back and escalate, it seemed stormy, exciting,and passionate. I was young and misguided and believed it to be romantic (we must really love each other if we drive each other to these levels of insanity). Now I know how dangerous it was. (The guy ultimately threw someone off of a bridge and was placed in an insane asylum.) They both need support, anger management, etc. If she struck him first charges could go both ways. If Chris has no self-control, he may not have a turn-off switch once he is provoked beyond a certain level. The one thing that I know is that uninterupted the pattern of abuse continues. Both of them need our suppot and understanding. I doubt that jail will change anything for anyone.

It is one thing to forgive Chris Brown for his actions and to pray that he gets the help that he needs without supporting him, especially financial support, to continue to abuse women. If he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and to change his ways, then buying his records, attending his cds, and listening to him on the radio allow him to continue to abuse women. I have also compared this situation to R. Kelly, who is widely known to like underage girls. There was very little outrage in the situation with him and almost no consequences in the Black community. His songs are still played on all the radio stations, and many still love his music. The way that R. Kelly was treated makes it unlikely that the Black community will come down any harsher on Chris Brown. At least in my mind, child molestation is just as bad as, if not worse than, a man hitting a woman.

Well, now that it appears that she has got back togather with him, I will not defend him, not that I did with him, or her when she gets her next beat down. She's more trifling than he is now.

First let me say, this is a great commentary. Second, I guess I want to say that the reason I have not myself, blogged about this Chris Brown/Rihanna incident is because I have not heard nor read the whole story yet and I will have a hard time understanding or believing any of it until I see someone go to court and be faced with some charges. When that happens, I will believe it. And please don't take this the wrong way, I am by no means condoning domestic violence, it's just that, in the case of celebrities, I don't usually believe anything until I see someone going to court accompanied by their lawyers and see the press conference that usually follows. I wasn't there, with Chris and Rihanna so I have no idea what happened and have no room to dis Chris or Rihanna, or to form an opinion about it. The other comment I wanted to make was, while it's commendable that men, like Mr. Roberts are getting all up in arms about this Chris Brown/Rihanna incident, where have you all been all of this time? I mean there have been incident after incident of athletes getting caught up in strip clubs, degrading and defiling women, video after video with women shaking their behinds, and song after song where men either talk about taking it from women or talk about all of their prowess (which probably in reality doesn't exist). But not just the athletes in strip clubs, regular men hanging out in these places, watching pornography with friends (some women like it too for some reason), people continuously supporting R.Kelly, despite his case. I didn't hear any celebrity villify him during his case which, to me, is far worse of a charge than this Chris Brown case, even though both are bad. I didn't hear radio stations saying they would stop playing is music or Michael Jackson's for that matter, but yet in this case with Chris Brown, which still is yet to be proven, people are ready to throw him under the bus. Now, I'm not saying support him and his alleged actions, but what I am saying is that we, in the Black community, have to be fair. I mean, people were crying out to free Michael Vick on his dog brawling charges, and for what? What Michael Vick was tried and convicted for is just as bad as what Chris Brown has allegedly done, yet for some reason, some "crimes" or "bad acts" are seen as better or not as bad as others, and people didn't want to see Vick go to jail. Animal rights are synonymous with civil/human rights because as slaves we were treated as animals and sometimes the animals were treated better than Blacks and some children before laws were passed to stop slavery and abuse to children. I mean the very fact that Michael Vick condoned this cruel treatment of animals also tells me that some Black men have issues with seeing animals and women in compromising and violent positions and some think it's okay. Being okay with treating animals in that way has remnants of slavery written all over it. But, I digress. I guess my point is that, I'm a little hurt that it took this Chris Brown incident for many Black men to start speaking out when this type of domestic abuse has been going on for years and there have been so many other issues and incidents in which women have been the victims of violence or seen as sex objects before now and it probably won't end with this case. So, before Black men fall all over themselves coming to the rescue of Rihanna, please pay attention to the women in your communities who are victims of rape, or who may be dating someone who is not good for them. There have been far too many cases of missing black women and women killed by their boyfriends or girls who are abused by their mothers boyfriends for us to continue to ignore and a woman doesn't have to be famous for you to pay attention.

In the Chris Brown and Rihanna saga everyone seems to be waiting for the "Happy Ending." What are their options? Hate each other forever and serve as the "Poster Kids" for Domestic violence? Not happening. Option II, forgive each other and raise a family fully aware of the past failures in the public eye where all can hear and see any warning signs? Option III, let every victim of past abuse in the world tell them what to do so they can get revenge? I kind like option II. Misery loves company, but these kids deserve a chance to teach others how to forgive and love after we prove were imperfect. We can destroy Chris anytime. How about we all agree to do it the second he screws up again? Leave them alone.

Cecil Jones you can't be serious? Domestic violence should never let the beater get a "second chance," the more I read your posts the more I think that you really are not into posting just making waves. No man or woman should be beating down someone and not getting punished by the law, and, if she stays with him, as is her choice, don't have her dial 911 the next time since that call would be wasted by someone who really needs it, and, there will be a next time he gives her a beat down, or worse.

FIRST, I think the point of this article that some of you are missing is that the author is NOT condemning Chris Brown but simply using the public's support and defense of him as an opportunity to speak about misogyny. None of us needs to wait until he speaks more than a pitiful apology, or until an arraignment or a trial (which is very unlikely in domestic violence cases) takes place before we can speak about the surrounding issues it raises. SECOND, though no one has been charged with a crime, read between the lines folks! Would you come out with an apology statement by your publicist if you'd had a normal night with your girlfriend taking a midnight ride around town, NO! Of course not. But you WOULD tell your publicist to read an apology statement if you'd beat your girlfriend down and the police had just finished questioning you. If this doesn't convince you that Chris Brown is guilty then consider this. What conclusion would you come to if you heard your mother, sister, friend, daughter, cousin was last known to be in a car with her boyfriend and left bruised and beaten, made a police statement and her boyfriend then issued an apology. This of course is not good enough evidence for criminal court, but in the court of public opinion, how on earth can you support a person under these circumstances. THIRD What is scary is that some of the people commenting may have such aversion to supporting the victims because they are abusers themselves or have just been indoctrinated to side with the abuser. I mean, think about it, probably 5 -10 % of men have allowed themselves to be violent. These people aren't all locked up, they are our bosses, colleagues, dudes on the corner, and the people commenting on this article.

Yes, James, I concur. I don't take anything Cecil says seriously. As a matter of fact whenever I come to the site I simply just have to skip over his comments because they've went beyond ridiculous awhile ago.

This was a well written and timely article. I am tired of the black community defending these sick acts in the name of "not beating down our black men" No man has a right to hit a woman, no excuses whatsoever. Chris Brown may have been provoked, we don't know but he could have walked away from the situation. You are not being a punk by walking away. There are many black men that are classic role models...the president, Will Smith, Denzel Washington just to name a few. It is true that we don't know what happened in that car but the point of this article is to highlight the sexist, mysognist behavior in the black community and why many of us keep defending these men. For a community such as ours that has faced bigotry and discrimination we ourselves harbor our own prejudices. Some of the comments made on this article are quite disturbing and irrational as if in a sly way the writers are trying to defend the use of violence.

To - tjr....Your comments are right on the mark!!! Let's quit making excuses for these types of actions/activities within our community.

Im sorry to say but chris brown was in the wrong. Regardless what rhianna provoked or whatever i know his mother said never put your hands on a female. At that being said her face looked as if she got beaten bad and intentionally. That was no accident at all. He could of mushed her, not saying that would of been any better, but he continuously kept hitting her to the face as you can tell. Chris brown would know longer get my support as much as i love his music and i believe he is an amazing artist, He blew it with me. I feel really bad for rhianna . Her face made me want to cry for her.. Chris Brown you blew it with me... Im no longer your number one faN...

This man - Vagina feminist thinks like many women, don't blame the woman, of course they can punch, provoke irritate, but it's all good because these big mouths will never keep women accountable. You never raise a hand to a man either! Tired of these so called pseudo feminist losers who support women who are just as guilty. Misanderer myth# Any politics of social justice that does not begin with a concern for violence in general claiming women as a disadvantaged group is outrageous, and surely propaganda driven male bashing sexism and misandry. Therefore, we should refuse to let our "concern" for Rihanna's "needs" silence our outrage, disgust, and/or disapproval of her supporters and their misandry. This male bashing so called male feminist is another classic example of why we don't deal with violence. It has become a one sided issue. If the tables were turned this loud mouth writer wouldn't dare speak against a woman (COWARD). And that's the problem. We don't know what she said or did to irritate Chris Brown. Many women are going to get killed unless they hold themselves accountable and stop their own violence. It does matter what they do, We can no longer use the excuse of the disadvantaged or physical weakness to justify women's violent behavior.

This coward needs to hold women accountable. Until women support a united front, they will never be taken seriously. Stop the misandry and men will support women.

Chris admitted his guilt. And the picture spoke 1000 words. Why are we all so careful to talk about "alleged", "the situation" and "not be judgemental". We make a million judgements a day about who to vote for, who to stand next to on the subway, what's our bosses mood like today. We have no problem giving a fast positive answer for something positive like "wasn't that pilot who landed the plane in the Hudson great?", "wasn't the inauguration the best" but as soon as there's an area of obvious wrongdoing, especially about a "star" we freeze up, can't seem to come to a decision about what's right or wrong. Doesn't matter what the situation was. He was wrong to beat her and he is a coward. You know if Jay Z or Charles Barkley pissed him off he wouldn't have punched, chocked or beaten either one of them. Say it like it is. Chris Brown's a thug and who gives a ____ about his feelings, his needs or his treatment.

I am not giving Chris Brown an excuse, but get all of the facts. Chris attacked Rihanna after she slapped and hit him when she read an intimate text message from Chris’ female manager to him. Last week a 21 year old professional linebacker football player in Atlanta did not retaliate against the initial assault by his 19 year old girl friend, when she stabbed him in the head with a pair of scissors. She then stabbed him in the neck with a knife. She did not attack him in self defense. She was arrested and charged. In this case the football player lucked out. His injuries were not serious, and he was released from the hospital the same day.

And some of you seem to imply that the beating of a woman is outrageous but the beating of a man is not.With attitudes like that its no wonder there is so much violence in the hood.Physical,interpersonal(verbal abuse),and economic violence is wrong wrong wrong whether it be against a man or a woman

can someone explain to me why celebrities in particular are bending over backwards NOT to say something bad about chris brown? it is RIDICULOUSLY blatant and it almost seems like they are AFRAID of saying something. does chris brown have the power of putting hits out on people or something? what gives? i don't get it. "we don't understand their situation/cast the first stone"... i call b.s. as for their "situation"... WTF?! is there ANYTHING she could have done that would justify that? as for "casting the first stone"... again - bullshit. bernie madoff... no one is afraid to call him a thieving sonofabitch. so what gives? why are people AFRAID in this circumstance to just condemn his (UNJUSTIFIABLE UNDER ANY SITUATION) actions? WHY IS THAT SO HARD?

I'm a guy and i think guys are full it. Most of the time they only defend women when they find her attractive or she has some type of status or leverage in the community or public eye. Let's say in School there are 2 girls freezing one of them looks like Megan Good and the other not So Megan. Guys are more likely to offer there support for the one who they are more attracted to in the situation. For whatever reason they may have. We all have been guilty of it so go ahead and be honest. Then Some guys will completely ignore the one who they believe is more attractive because they don't want to be another guy throwing their support at her and adding fuel to the ego that they believe that she already has for getting what she wants because of who she is. The problem with that equation above is that someone feels less of a person no matter who gets your jacket. The best thing you can do if you TRULY want to help the 2 freezing is cut your jacket in half and help both as much as you can without leaning to one side more than other becuase of the conditional & sitational biases that the brain has picked up and developed from society. If you really want to help the both of them, cut your support and love down the middle for both. Becuase everytime you support Chris and ignore Rhianna you may overlook how Rhianna May Feel. And everytime you support Rhianna and Crucify Chris you overlook how he may feels. Why make one feel like more than the other or make one feel like less than other? People pick sides usually to drive and enforce the opinons they already had before a situation has even taken place not becuase they we're totally opinion free and wanted to be a fair moderator. Let me ask you something? Chris is a coward and a punk for hitting that woman right? But if he walked out that car looking like she did and she walked out looking clean like he did, most would still have called him punk? See my point is this, in a situation like that nobody wins by driving one side harder than the other. The answer to this is love. Love both of them and offer your support whole heartly to all. Rather or not you believe in Jesus hears a lesson to be learned from him. Jesus still fed the man he know was about to help kill him just as much food as the ones who wasn't going to kill him. Would you had done the same?

It's been weeks now and the Chris and Rihanna poison has been spewed, now it's time for the serious conversation to begin. Why can't we support them both? In America, our justice system is blind sometimes. We think justice is a clear winner and a single loser. In Chris and Rihanna's case both have so much talent and both are losers. How can we support them to make us all win? Well, what I did was not to ignore Chris's need for counseling and his need to do whatever is necessary for Rihanna to forgive him. Above all she must find it in her heart to forgive or the "Gender Haters" win. They have their victim forever serving their hateful needs. I didn't want that for Rihanna. After Chris demonstrates the ability to have Rihanna forgive and not forget, then we the public must step up and listen for any warning signs to protect her if she does not see his reality. If Chris really loves her, then there is no safer place for Rihanna to be. If he can't love then it is our duty to protect her until he is proven incapable of loving anyone and she is capable of moving on and loving herself. It is wrong for anyone to hit a child, a woman, or a man. It is our duty to forgive those who are imperfect and to try to help them find the love they need. The rest of these "Gender Haters" have their own agenda. A woman is just as wrong when she hits. She is a true coward because she will only hit a man when she is absolutely certain that he won't do anything. That's not a lesson that we should teach our women and children. That's a "Bully in a Skirt" or a "Diva who may get her's someday." What if Rihanna was in a "Cat Fight?" Would anyone be making a big deal or demanding to see it on pay per view. We are sick in our double standards. Don't hate this pundit hate the game.

listen 2 yoursleves actin all perfect sis you not. So before u judge chris look at youesleves first.You shuld look at the bad things you've do before you go hatin on chris brown yeah a man shuld not hit a woman yeah whatever but you don't know the whole story (after chris hit rihanna he turned himself in a thing many guys won't do ) now tell me if it were you whom hit rihanna were you ever gonna turn yourself in NO!! you won't and you know why because yoll only no how 2 point out the wrong in him but can't point out the wrong in you (dnt judge if you knw you dnt gota prue heart)

To the writer: I am a black woman and i am so upset by the reaction of black people especially black women to this terrible situation. I think you hit the nail on the head. bravo, i could not have articulated it better. Thank you most of all for having this perspective as a "brother". What a relief!! I think the black community somehow missed the anti-domestic violence memo. What's more, it is clear that for a lot of us, violence is a regular and "normal" part of how we "love". no woneder it is so easy for black men to rap about bitches and ho's and it is even clearler as to why black women naturally enjoy these lyrics. There clearly needs to be a campaign on educating black men and women on why domestic violence is completely unacceptable. there is also a clear attitude that a black woman cannot be a victim and cannot be vulnerable. most sad of all is the fact that this is a view held by black women. i am starting to think that this chris and rhianna thing is a watershed moment for addressing domestic violence in the black community.