E. Lynn Harris's 'Aunt G' remembers her nephew

Since New York Times best-selling author E. Lynn Harris's untimely death, the world continues to mourn one of its most celebrated writers. The family man and mentor often dedicated his books to his favorite aunt, Jesse "Aunt G" Phillips. ESSENCE.com spoke with the beloved Aunt G  who opened up about how the family is coping, when the author came out to his loved ones, and what was his ultimate dream.

ESSENCE.COM: How has the family been holding up since E. Lynn's passing?

JESSE PHILLIPS: We're all taking it day by day. His mother, my sister is doing pretty good. I talk to her often because I'm taking care of all of E. Lynn's business in Atlanta with the help of his assistant, Laura Gilmore, because she knows more about his business than we all do. But we all miss his beautiful smile and spirit.

ESSENCE.COM: How close were the two of you?

PHILLIPS: Oh, Lynn lived with me as much as he lived with my sister because I had all boys and he wanted to be around the boys since he was the only boy in his family. He considered my boys his brothers. I moved to Atlanta in 72 and whenever he had free time and was visiting his mother he would come to stay with me.

Ironically, my oldest son, Kenny, had a heart problem and passed away last April and Lynn had such a tender heart, he was just crying because they were very close. He always said that Kenny was a great role model and like an older brother to him. Lynn always said he loved his spirit and that he wanted to be just as kind as him and he was.

ESSENCE.COM: When was the last time you saw him?

PHILLIPS: He came by to see me on Sunday and left on Tuesday to stop in Arkansas. Strangely enough before he left we were talking about heart attacks because I was telling him he needed to find a cardiologist in Atlanta. He had been to mine, but he didn't' like him because he had a good one he liked at home. I told him that was great but he needed one here too and couldn't just depend on that one. He kept saying I know I need the medication, but I don't think he had been taking any because it had been a while since he'd been to his doctor in Arkansas and I know when he went to visit he was in a hurry and probably didn't see the doctor. That's when he got sick on the train. He had a car and decided he wanted to park the car in a lot and take the train to Los Angeles. About five years ago, he developed a fear of flying and he had a driver drive him everywhere.

ESSENCE.COM: Where were you when you learned he died?

PHILLIPS: I was on my way to physical therapy because I have really bad arthritis really bad his assistant Laura called and said E. Lynn had a massive heart attack. I put my hazardous lights on and couldn't believe what I was hearing because he was just with me. I had to sit there a little for a while and gain my composure. I tried to go on to my physical therapy , but I had to go to talk to my sister. We talked a long time and I was trying to console her. She's a very quiet woman and doesn't ask for anything. She never bothered him and even when he asked her what she wanted she'd say she was fine because she felt that he had his own bills to pay. That was her only son and I thanked her for sharing her only son with me. He loved his mother dearly and even that Sunday when he came to visit he told me I don't worry about myself my concern is my mother.

ESSENCE.COM: He opened doors not only for gay writers but all writers and will never be forgotten. Was it difficult for the family to accept his sexuality or the subject matter?

PHILLIPS: No, because we loved him period. Every time he wrote a book I'd go and buy 10 to 12 of them to support him I knew that he was gay before he told me because I could tell by his mannerisms but it didn't make me love him any less. When he was about 14 or 15, he confided in me that he was gay and it was just between the two of us. I kept his secret. I don't think he ever sat down with my sister and told her the way he did with me, but she accepted him just the same. He told me," I thought I could pray everything away even my sexuality but I can't.: Then he said that he knew I didn't' like the idea of him being gay but the fact was if he never had sex again in his life, he'd still be gay. I remember he wrote something he told me in conversation once about his sexuality he said, "This is not something I choose to be. In fact, I don't know any Black man in his right mind who would choose to be Black and gay. This is not a choice." It wasn't until the third book that he finally admitted that one of those characters was based on him. One time someone at his book signings suggested that he was gay because he didn't have a strong father figure in his life because his parents divorced when he was 12 and he said that my husband, his Uncle Charles was his father figure. We had a lot of interesting and long conversations.

ESSENCE.COM: Laura Gilmore, E. Lynn's personal assistant said that a memorial would be planned at the end of August. Is that still happening?

PHILLIPS: Yes, we're planning to have a memorial service. It's on hold right now because somebody from his publishing house asked if we could hold off on the memorial until September when his next book will be released. They think it will be a great boost for the book to have the first book signing and memorial service for his fans. My husband and I planned to have something at the convention center in Atlanta but are willing to discuss ideas about the best way to make this happen.

ESSENCE.COM: He was a real visionary and so successful. Is there anything that E. Lynn didn't accomplish?

PHILLIPS: I think he lived a full life and I think he was able to do most of the things he enjoyed doing. However, the one thing I know that he wanted to do so bad that he never got to do is appear on Oprah's show. Those of us who were fortunate to have him as a son, nephew, cousin, friend and see his beautiful smile and giving spirit will remember him always. He was simply a joy to be around and his Aunt G misses him dearly.

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